Big boy Graduation

Two post in one day? What is this witchery? Haha. I joke, I joke. Per the title, I recently graduated from Grand Valley State University. I graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in Advertising & Public Relations. Some say my minor was Japanese, but since GV doesn’t have a Japanese major or minor, it’s not official. 

So why write about graduation? Aside from the fact that it’s a special day due to it being my bachelors degree, it’s marks the start of becoming an adult. I’m not one for really showing my emotions outside of my art, music, and raging at games, especially when my mother expects me to jump for joy and cry.

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My family, minus my sister

As I mentioned, I’m not the most emotional person. Many would say I’m pretty apathetic, but those who know me know I’m just very calm and neutral about most things. Let me get back to the post. This day was an exciting day for me, because I finally got to put on my “big boy pants”.

Graduation day was the day I finally grew up. This is not to say that I was not already being a responsible adult, but the realization that I won’t have to try and complete an assignment by midnight was a great amount of stress removed from my life. I realized that no one will hold my hand when doing things anymore, and I’m expected to actually use the skills I’ve learned in college in the “real world”.

My mom asked me how it felt to be a graduate. At the time, I answered her with “The same as always”, but now I’ve been out of school for almost three weeks, and it’s really starting to dawn on me that I’m no longer in school. I’m a bit of late bloomer on some things. I wake up, go to work, come home, play games, go to sleep, and repeat the process. No more irregular hours staying up to meet with groups, or to complete a paper. No more stressing out about an assignment due at midnight, or several. I was “free”.

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My oldest brother and I

I didn’t plan for life after graduation. I spent my time focusing on school. I didn’t even know life was a thing. I was not prepared for the amount of freedom I was suddenly given in one day. I applied to a staffing agency, where I worked temporary jobs while awaiting to hear about jobs more related to my degree. I also applied to jobs on my own, but most of my time was spent working temp jobs to pay bills. That’s when I realized graduation is just a hard kick into life. The “reality” as some like to call it. More money and time spent on bills, and inconsistent temp work. While it was consistent for a while, it was not guaranteed, and that unsettled me.

If I am not anything else, I am a go-getter. I like working, I like being active. When I’m not working or being active, I get frustrated and irritated. Everything bothers me, and I generally don’t want to do anything but work. Not having a stable amount of work stresses me out, and makes me lose sleep, which I barely get anyways.

When I reflect on the question my mom asked me, I think about the things I want in life. How do I feel now that I’m done? Unsatisfied. I want more education, I want work. I want to be able to live a comfortable life with little to no problems. I want to be able go buy something I want and not have to regret it later. I want to be able to buy things that I want, and not just need. How do I feel? I feel like I need to try harder than I have been these past 22 years.

My big boy graduation was a big day for me. And it’s something that will always be with me.

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My older brother and I
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My younger brother and I
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My mother and I

So, am I angry that life has hit me hard? No, it’s quite the opposite. I see it as a challenge. If I can overcome all of these hardships, then it shows that life is whatever we make it. I just need to take one step at a time, and get everything in order the way I want it, and life will be okay.

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